Saturday March 13, 2010

It has been quite a while since I posted a note on my blog. I actually can hardly realize that it has been almost 6 months. I have been very busy with school and getting ready to graduate. I thought I might take a moment and reflect on a few things that have been going on and what I have been thinking.

I was thinking about fears and worries and how they can really be like anchors for creative expression and how you feel about life and are ultimately a factor in the equation of how happy you might be. Everyone has fears and worries over any number of things that are going on at any particular time in ones life. Some are dreadful and chronic, others might be sporadic or situational. One thing they have in common is that the worries take up your time, time you can never get back. I always have wondered what I could do with all the time I have spent in my life worrying especially over things I don't have a lot of control over. What about you?

Here are a few suggestions for worry:

1. Detach yourself from negative sources, people, media, etc.
2. Visualize positive outcomes for situations, or look for the positive side of the story.
3. Visualize letting go of the worry, make the worry into something like a balloon and watch it float away .
4. Give yourself two minutes in the morning to worry about all the things you have to worry about and then stop.
5. If the things you are worrying about are threatening or if you don't feel safe, ask for help.
6. Ask yourself what is valid about what you are worrying about.

Worry and fear are sometimes sort of tied together, and it is hard to separate them. It might be helpful to analyze which is which. For example I worry over where my daughter is going to go to college. But my fear, really, is will she be safe where she goes to college. My mind whirls around with worry about the school, but at the bottom is the fear that she won't be safe. If I think about things this way, I can calm myself and stop circling around and around with negative and un useful thoughts that are very counterproductive for getting to the bottom of what is really bothering me.

You might find it useful to make a list, (you know how I love lists) of the 5 top things you worry about on a daily basis, then next to each item think about what you are really afraid of. Try to isolate it. Then if you can do that, you can think about the things you are afraid of and see how that fits for you. Can you do anything about that fear that is associated with the worry?

Remember that all that worry might have had a purpose for you at one time, and letting all of it go is a lot harder than we think. I certainly haven't been able to let it go in my life. But realizing that it didn't get there in a day and it won't go away in a day, is comforting somehow. I don't have to solve the world's problems today. But maybe I can quit worrying about one of my problems.